The pitfalls of existential depression

I’m too lazy to check my previous posts to see if I said anything about my existential depression. I’m also too lazy to go into deep detail about it. Suffice it to say that existential depression is a bitch of a disorder arising from the realization of a few of the basic truths of reality. It is basically depression brought on by realizing certain existential truths. It happens disproportionately among “gifted” individuals and the middle-aged (the most common type of existential depression is the midlife crisis). I have suffered from it since I was 10. The real clincher is that the only surefire cure for existential depression is to drastically change the very nature of existence. And since it seems that god isn’t down with that rap, it looks like us thinky types will be cursed with this affliction until the very day we as a race either commit suicide or find a way to become gods. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that individuals suffering from existential depression are more prone to joining cults or becoming hyperinvolved in politics (most probably as a way to either find meaning in their lives or to try to change the world).

On the one hand, I am proud of my existential depression because it played a big part in the development as a person. I highly doubt that I’d be a radical anarchist/feminist/syndicalist/potential national security threat if I wasn’t so in tune with the way things work. Also it gives me a big head because it means I’m more with it than the general population and I can actually see how things work and don’t delude myself with ridiculous fairy tales about the status quo. However, I frequently envy the deluded and wish I was one of them.

Anyway, the whole reason I haven’t posted anything in a week is that I’ve been reeling with a particularly nasty bout of depression. I’ve been getting lots of texts from friends wondering why I’ve dropped off the face of the earth, so I decided to be a little more proactive today and get out of the house and do some shit. Probably spend some money since I have an extra $100 that isn’t earmarked for anything. First I’m going to watch Amazon Women on the Moon to get me in a better mood.

For those of you who want to know more about existential depression, here’s an article about existential depression in gifted youths.