The inaugural post

Hello, and welcome to my nifty little blog thing. Let me explain what this whole deal is about.

I am transgendered. I was born male, but I identify as female. I first noticed cross-gender feelings at the age of three, and at the age of 13 I began crossdressing and researching transsexuality (I was diagnosed at 13 with “gender dysphoria”). I am currently beginning my transition, and since I am doing it on an extreme budget, I thought it would be nice to try to gather some information on transitioning on a shoestring budget in one place. I’ll also include updates with important milestones I pass, trans- and gender-related news, and whatever the hell else I feel like posting (probably just ramblings from my journals).

I am 23 now, and I tried transitioning once in 2007. I failed miserably, though, because when my girlfriend (the only person I’ve ever loved more than myself) found out I was seriously thinking about transition, she left me. The resulting depression rekindled an old drug habit (I had been 2 years clean) and also lead to alcoholism. This ate up all my money, so I went broke trying to pay for electrolysis. SO I decided to stop and get clean and sober first.

The drugs left a lasting imprint; in April of 2008 I suffer a sever psychotic breakdown, and in June of that year I was diagnosed with both depressive-type schizoaffective disorder (a mix of episodic schizophrenia and depression). I had already been diagnosed with existential depression when I was 10 and depersonalization disorder when I was 18. All of these factors were making it increasingly hard to work full-time and keep up with school. I dropped out and applied for disability, which took 11 months for the government to approve.

I was approved for disability late in 2009, and this is how I am going to fund my transition for the time being (I hope to one day recover sufficiently to go back to working full-time). Each month I recieve about $730 in SSDI, $250 in SSI, $400 from working part-time, and anywhere from $0-$500 from selling my paintings, sculptures, photography, and writing. I have no credit cards and refuse to get any because I think they are unwise.

Since August of 2009 I have been working on budgeting, and I think I’ve finally got it down. It required some doing, because I am a tech dork and a huge comic book collector, but when I thought of my priorities I concluded that transitioning topped the list. I have spent the last few months learning to do with out buying a new Blu-ray disc or video game each week, and in the end I was able to save aout $400 a month, which is just enough for hormones and electrolysis. I started hormones December 28, 2009 and I begin electrolysis tomorrow.

Some other information about me that may come into play in some of these posts: I am very big into philosophy, both contemporary and classical; I am an anarcho-syndicalist politically and very involved in the anarchist movement (this is important because my anarchist leanings flavor my ideas of gender); and I am a deveout agnostic (not to be confused with an atheist, which is a logically invalid belief system).