Dating pre-transition

I thought I’d write a little about my experiences dating before transition. I’ve dated a lot and had lots of sex, which I think was an attempt to prove to the world that I was a man. I started having sex at 13 and have done just about everything. I’ve only had sex with one guy, and I didn’t like it so I swore never to do it again.

Anyway, I like a specific type of girl. I prefer really strong, independant women. I like the type of girl who can chug a beer and out-belch any guy in the bar. That being said, a few of the girls I’ve dated have been kind of butch or even dykey. I’ve found that these women are the ones that have the biggest problems with me being trans.

Usually, I begin a relationship by telling the woman I’m a crossdresser, just so I’m still free to experiment with my gender in the relationship. All the people I’ve dated have been okay with this. If I think the relationship is taking a serious turn, I feel obliged to tell them about how serious my gender identity issues are. Some women are okay with this, however the dykey ones always blow up and usually become very abusive. I think this is because they are so butch that they get a lot of people who assume they are lesbians. By being attracted to someone who identifies as a woman, they probably feel that their sexuality is being called into question. I’m not entirely sure, though.

Anyway, I’ve decided not to date any more until I’m more comfortable with my body. Also, I doubt any girl I might date would be completely fine with dating someone during transition. I think I’ve already said this, but I am super androgynous and I get a lot of people who don’t know how to refer to me (sir or ma’am). Anyway, right now I think I’m too feminine for straight girls and too masculine for gay girls. You never know, though; I could meet the girl of my dreams who is also completely fine with me the way I am. If on the off chance that happens, I’ll certainly not miss the opportunity. I highly doubt it will happen, though.

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1 Comment

  1. hangerbaby said,

    January 11, 2010 at 13:52

    You don’t like “strong independent women”
    You like butch dykes.

    There is a massive community catering to your type and it sounds like you are just in your head about things, doubting yourself and lacking any confidence or pride.This is not a gender issue, it is not a sexual orientation issue. This is simply a human error that is common in both sexes, regardless of their sexual preference.


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